Thursday, November 6, 2014

He maimai aroha… Glynnis Paraha

Over at home this week, people have gathered to farewell Glynnis Paraha. Glynnis was an incredibly vibrant, talented, grounded Māori woman. This is my farewell to her.

Back in 1993 I was a seventh former at a high school in Auckland that had successfully managed to get rid of all Māori students to the point that there were only three of us in my fifth and final year of high school out of a graduating class of almost 90. This feat is almost impressive considering the fact we made up around 20% of the kids back in third form when we'd started five years earlier.

To paint a picture of my high school experience, I'll tell a quick story. That year for my bursary Statistics assignment I had to collect statistics about something - anything - and then analyse them using the methods we'd learned; I decided to interview Māori students at the school in third, fifth and seventh forms and ask them if they wished they could learn te reo as a subject (it wasn't offered) and also if they had desire to go on to tertiary education. In order to do the required 'random sampling' (one of our stats skills) I had to have a list of all the Māori students at the school; this was something the school refused to give me when they heard what I wanted to focus on, so a certain teacher helped get me such a list on the sly. (We slipped into a computer lab at lunchtime - cementing in my mind the possibility of working inside the system in order to make space for other people to critique the system.)

I got the list, I did the random selections, I interviewed the kids, and crunched the numbers. I couldn't tell you what they are, though, because the assignment was confiscated by the school on the basis of the fact I had come by the student list by dodgy means, and I recall a conversation with a deputy principal in a drafty hallway in which there was clarification about the implications of going to the press about my findings. (It hadn't crossed my mind, to go to the press, to be honest. I was 17 and didn't yet realise I had that much power.) In general terms, the findings of my research were not surprising: Māori kids at third form were keen little beans and very enthusiastic about going into tertiary education, at fifth form were generally not (they didn't think they'd finish high school), and at seventh form - well - those of us who had stayed in there that long were all going for the next step. 100% of the Māori kids at the school wished we'd had the opportunity to learn our language. I learned a lot through that assignment: the limits of numbers to tell a story yet the need for numbers to challenge another story; the risks of research that doesn't toe the party line; the potential for someone powerless to threaten a system if only they have the research and support behind them. Also, and I think about this a lot, the deep desire of our tamariki to succeed on their own terms in the world of education and to speak our language.

So, this is the context of 1993 for me.

1993 was also the 100th anniversary of women's suffrage in New Zealand, and there was a high celebration of some kind in the city which a bunch of us seventh form girls were bussed in to enjoy. I don't remember much about the day, not because I have bad memory but because I spent it being exceedingly nervous. I'd been asked by one of my teachers to 'say thank you' to the workshop speaker I was going to be listening to. Yes, you guessed it, a woman called Glynnis Paraha.

I was asked because I was that kind of kid who would be comfortable doing it; but what perhaps the teacher hadn't realised (or maybe she did - I'll probably never know) was that I wasn't that kind of *Māori* kid. No, this isn't a whine about my identity or my tragic life… it's a story in which a 17 year old knows she is Māori (enough to get in trouble for a Stats project!) and knows she needs to say something other than "on behalf of all of us listening today…" but doesn't have the skill to do it. I was panicked because I knew what was expected and I didn't have the ability to step up.

Despite not teaching te reo as a school subject, however, one of the teachers had recently started after school language classes and a local Māori man would come and feed a very hungry group of us once a week in a classroom over by the tuckshop. I asked him, after one of these sessions, if he could help me find the right words to say, and he sat down and wrote me a short kōrero and we talked about an ideal waiata. I practiced hard, knowing on some level that my life depended on it.

The day came to board the busses and head to town to celebrate a century of women being able to vote (I didn't realise at that point that some Māori women had in fact been able to vote before 1893, when voting was on the basis of landowning rather than gender) and I can't remember much of that day because I kept running the unfamiliar yet deeply familial words over and over in my head.

When we gathered into our little workshop clusters where we heard famous women talk about their lives, those of us who sat in a small circle around Glynnis Paraha were in for a treat. I still remember her speaking about her amazing experiences living overseas (Iceland, maybe?) and she said, in a matter of fact way that tipped my world upside down, "when I got home I realised what's the point of speaking someone else's language when I can't even speak my own?" and she talked about university and language and culture and I just sat there, for the first time seeing university as a potentially Māori place, and knowing that Māori can have and do have incredibly global lives. This was life changing, and I have absolutely no doubt that Glynnis could have had absolutely no idea what seeds she was sowing deep that day.

Finally it was time for me to finish things off. How did I do? I know I made mistakes, but what I remember was the warmth and aroha in her face as I stood and spoke. I know how cheesy that sounds, but I also know that only someone who has been treated with aroha during a very vulnerable moment could know what aroha doesn't just feel but look like. When I finished speaking, I started up with 'E hara' and the other girls stood and sang with me. The kaiako and I had decided that was a good waiata for this occasion - he explained (and this was a good lesson I've remembered to this day) that the waiata isn't a chance to show off but a chance to be inclusive, and the best waiata in this context would be one that we could all sing together. I hadn't even started a waiata before, and hadn't had unfamiliar Māori girls stand and sing beside me. Sure, I'd sung with whānau and sure, I'd started the odd waiata during a kapa haka bracket; but this was the real thing. This wasn't a performace.

I stuffed it up at the end. There was a very pregnant pause when I was so flustered I totally forgot that I should finish up by repeating a few words again, and we all stood there in a tight circle, surrounded by acres and acres (so it felt) of seated girls and women having their own little talks, many of whom had stopped to listen to us sing. The other girls started looking around, and I started to click that I should do something, but I panicked and wasn't sure how to proceed. Then a big smile from across the circle, and a thank you form Glynnis, and we moved into hugs and things ended not with a focus on what hadn't happened but on what had. I don't need to spell out what that interaction meant to me, but I wanted to share a story about a remarkable kuia they buried yesterday who, without her own knowledge, provided me with my first opportunity to step into something which would turn out to be my future.

This all happened 21 years ago, but I still have a very strong recollection of that pause, and my horror when I realised that I was the one who'd spoken and so should have spoken again. I am not exaggerating when I say that I think of that pause often. I can still feel it. Sitting here, typing in Sydney, I feel as mortified now as I did then, even though I have transgressed and made mistakes many, many times since I was 17.

But following my memory of the pause is always the smile, and the words, and the hug, and the profound reframing power of aroha.

     






32 comments:

  1. Glynnis Paraha used to live in my hometown in Iceland <3 I love her <3
    She taught us three songs and dances in Maori! I still know them!
    I would love to learn more about Glynnis, her life and her family! She is missed in Iceland and never forgotten!

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  26. Are you in NEED of a Quick Personal or Business Loan in this era of the Covid-19 pandemic? Guaranteed no repayments for the first 8 months, high approval decisions and a very low-interest rate fixed at 2% per annum. There are NO Credit Checks required. You can apply from any country in the world. Serious inquiries only! Contact us today via email at: (triumphantfinanceltd@gmail.com) to discuss your scenario and to learn more details about our transaction procedure, terms and conditions.

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  27. Hi, good day everyone!I am so proud and happy to be out here sharing Dr. Miracle work. My ex Husband is really back to me on his knees presenting a ruby rose to beg me to take him back and he was feeling regretful and sorry for leaving me and for causing me pains after the divorce which occurred last year. And this whole miracle happened within 48 hours of Contacting the Great Love Psychic. I am the happiest woman today in this whole wide world. Dr. Miracle, you really did it..Yes.. It's a miracle and everlasting pleasure and cheerfulness for me and my family today. I am so happy now and I don't know how much to convey my thankfulness and appreciation to you sir. To the whole world, contact him if you need urgent help to get your Ex back or if you wanna fix your broken relationship. Dr. Miracle spells are guaranteed and effective.
    Email: Miraclespellhome@gmail.com
     -Whatsapp number: +1 (786)-425-3855
     -Petra, from the USA!! 

    ReplyDelete
  28. Nama:::::::::::::::::::::::::::[Queen Jamillah]
    Negara:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::[Indonesia]
    Jumlah:::::::::::::::::::[Rp.9,8 miliar]
    Alamat::::::::::::::::::::[Surabaya]
    W/A:::::::[+6287818697754]
    ☎::::::[+6287818697754]
    e_mail:::::::::::::::::[queenjamillah09@gmail.com]
    Teman-teman orang Indonesia Nama saya Jamiilah saya seorang muslim jika Anda membaca blog selama dua sampai tiga tahun sekarang Anda akan menemukan bahwa saya telah membuat beberapa kesaksian mengenai saya mendapatkan pinjaman dari Bunda Iskandar dan saya memang sangat senang karena memberi tahu semua orang bahwa ibu Iskandar memang pemberi pinjaman yang sangat tulus dan juga saya dapat membuktikan fakta bahwa begitu banyak pelanggan juga telah mendapatkan pinjaman yang benar dari ibu selama bertahun-tahun melalui saya dan saya sangat senang untuk itu [Kesaksian terbaru sekarang adalah bahwa suami saya harus menyusun rencana mendirikan perusahaan mencuri di (Surabaya))))))) sehingga dia juga dapat memiliki akses ke bisnis yang lebih dan lebih berorientasi pada keuntungan yang melibatkan capaital yang sangat besar sehingga saya harus menghubungi Ibu bahkan ketika saya belum menyelesaikan cicilan bulanan terakhir saya sehingga ibu setuju untuk meminjamkan saya dan suami saya karena rencana bisnisnya berorientasi pada keuntungan dan kami harus mengajukan pinjaman sebesar (((Rp. 9,8 miliar) sehingga dana untuk proyek tersebut akan menjadi e Cukup mengejutkan kami, pinjaman saya disetujui oleh manajemen dalam waktu beberapa jam dan setelah beberapa waktu transfer berhasil dilakukan dengan gangguan dari OJK atau lembaga pengatur keuangan lainnya]

    Ibu Iskandar tidak pernah menipu siapa pun atas uangnya,
    Ibu memang pemberi pinjaman yang sangat tulus
    Perusahaan Induk terdaftar di OJK jadi jangan takut
    Ibu Iskandar punya catatan bagus dalam meminjamkan
    Tarifnya sangat bersahabat dibandingkan dengan Bank
    Minimum (Rp.100juta)))))
    Maksimum (((((Rp.100miliar)

    Detail Kontak Perusahaan:
    e_mail:::[[iskandalestari.kreditpersatuan@gmail.com]]]
    COMPANY::::::::::::[Iskandar Lestari Loan Company]]]

    ReplyDelete
  29. Are you in bad need of love spell to bring back your ex lover or reunite your marriage!DR JOHN for quick 24 hours solution. my name is Caroline Kate and I had a problem with my husband 14 Years, which lead us apart. When he broke up with me, I was confuse and did not know what to do to get him back, I felt so empty inside. Until i came across DR JOHN on the internet on how He has helped so many people solve there various problem. I emailed Him and I told Him my problem and i did what he asked me to do for him to help me, to briefly make the long story short, Before I knew it, in less than 24 HOURS, my Husband gave me a call and he came back to me and told me he was sorry about what was going on between the both of us. Finally I am writing this testimony to offer my thanks and deep gratitude to you DR JOHN for keeping to your words and your promises in bringing him back to me in just 24 hours of your powerful spell casting, and for using your gifted and great powers to bring him back. If you need his help, you can email him at: drjohnsoco @ gmail .com You can also WhatsApp him on +1 706 871 4571 ..

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  30. THIS IS NOT A JOKE. TRUST GREAT DR JOHN SOCO. My names are Zander Schumm from United States. Great Dr JOHN SOCO is really powerful and knows how to do his job perfectly. If not for him i could not imagine what would have happened. My ex was always picking up an argument with me and was always beating me. He started acting strange and funny and left me for no cause for another girl. I thought all hope was gone. I searched for help on the internet and i came across Great Dr JOHN SOCO. I saw so many testimonies about him. I was delighted and i contacted him on his email and told him what was going on. He laughed and assured me to calm down that he will help me and that my ex will come back begging me. He did his work and cast the spell for me and in 2 days time, my ex came apologizing just as he told me. Today we both live together and we are even more in love than how we use to be before he left. Contact the Great Dr JOHN SOCO for your own help. You can contact him on: Email:Drjohnsoco@gmail.com
    CALL/WHATSAPP +1 803-820-2671 .

    ReplyDelete
  31. I admire the work of DR AMBER who uses his spells for good. This man is a very strong Haiti Voodoo Doc who gives out numbers that can never fails. I am a winner of $200,000.00 dollars today because Dr Amber casted a lottery spell for me and I am very grateful to him for giving me the right numbers to play the lottery. Now my long awaited dream has finally come to pass and I thank Dr Amber for his help. If you need his help, you can call/text him with +1 (808) 481-5132 or email: amberlottotemple@yahoo.com or you go to: https://amberlottotemple.com

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  32. My wife always feel so insecure about me and it breaks me knowing fully well that my wife don’t trust me but I got to realise that what she ever thought I was doing at her back is what she is doing at my back. with the help of anonymousmaskhat@gmail.com I found out my wife is cheating on me after hacking her iPhone remotely.

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